Marriage Should Be A Seven Year Contract, Not Seven Lives Bond

In Hinduism, in the ceremony of marriage, bride and groom circumambulate the fire for seven times with seven vows and with an emotional oath to carry with the same spouse for the next seven lives.

Humans are not certain of one life and make a promise of carrying the same relationship for seven lives. Most of the people lose their interest in the relationship of marriage in 7 years, some in 7 months, some in even 7 days and we talk to carry the same relationship for seven lives. In the case of incompatibility, most of the relationships are not being carried amicably but being dragged due to some unavoidable compulsion and responsibility. People sacrifice their inherent urge of freedom and happiness at the door of compulsion of responsibility.

We take seven vows during the marriage ceremony, but most of us do not understand what those vows are. Those seven vows of marriage are so idealistic which cannot be fulfilled in one life. That is why you have given seven lives to understand and fulfil those vows which are unrealistic. In this lack of this understanding, we create unnecessary confusion and doubt in our marriage. Doubt and confusion breed conflicts. No wonder, most of the couple spends their most of the life in conflict and quarrel and understanding and ignoring each other at the same time. In marriage, you have only two choices –either you love it or hate it, but you can neither ignore it nor understand it.

We are very courageous people. We never allow anything - let it go. We give a chance to ourselves to understand each other. And one life is very less time for understanding each other.  And without understanding, nothing can be carried out joyously. To carry out this project we extend our deadlines. The deadline is extended up to seven years. Despite the extended deadline, nobody has succeeded in understanding the complexity of marriage. Still, every individual is given an equal opportunity to bang their head to understand the intricacy of this relationship. The more we try to understand it, the more convoluted it becomes.

If you stop trying understanding this relationship, you can carry this relationship for more years, even for the entire life joyously. The cases of divorce are found more in the civilized society than the underdeveloped society, because the former try to understand their relationship, which is not possible, and in this process, they choose other paths to get separated.

Marriage is nothing but a contract between two unknown people to stay together despite any differences and bitterness. The contract is prepared by the society and signed by bride and groom considering god as their witness. Now, you are bounded for seven lives. Live for each other and die for each other. There is no life left in the relationship of many people. Still, they carry their dead relationship, because they are obliged to. That would give nothing but a horrible smell of dead and rotten relationship. In this environment, how one can be happy and joyous…!

By seeing the complications in the marriages in today`s world where people are very ambitious and giving importance to their individual freedom, the concept of marriage for seven lives is not pragmatic. There should be a seven-year marriage contract at maximum. If the couple is comfortable staying together even after seven years of the contract, the contract can be extended for more terms. In this way, there would be more lives in the relationship. You know, you are going to stay with each other for a short period of time only; you will try to live each and every moment joyously. You know, you are not going to get this moment again. Instead of wasting your time in incrimination and recrimination, you will spend a quality time with each other. You would have less expectation from each other. And, where there is less expectation, the relationship lasts for a longer time. When you are comfortable in your relationship, you carry on. If you are not, no need to suffer in correcting each other. Choose your path. Life is very precious; it should not be spoiled the in bitterness of any kind.

Of course, there would be some complication in maintenance and kids. That should be taken care by law and society. Children should be the responsibility of the society where they could be kept away from the family conflict and complications. Every child should be grown equally who can think and work towards making the society and country strong.