Marriage is pious bond. It is considered a reunion of two pure souls. It is devout, because the married couples are entitled to copulate and procreate the progeny for the future generation, which is accepted by the society. Different types of marriages have been introduced to us, viz. Brahma Vivah, Daiva Vivah, Arsha Vivah, Prajapatya Vivah, Gandharva Vivah, Asura Vivah, Rakshasa Vivah, and Paishacha Vivah.
The existence of different categories of marriages is on the basis of the material nature and social status of the individuals. The law has been constituted to maintain the marriages. These laws differs on the basis of religions, region and time, and on some part, on the basis of caste, creed and cult also. The division of the works in the family took place under these laws to maintain the harmony and ostracize the conflicts in the family and society. The initial law which is known as tradition and customs now a day was a patriarch. The traditions and customs had been created by keeping in the mind of the capacity, skill and the security aspect of the male and female to run the family snag free. That law was expedient and might be apposite for that group of people, place and time. One of the primeval law book is Manusmriti, which was compiled be Rishi Manu. Some of the orthodox Hindu followers deem this book as a religious book, but I personally, could not find any quality in this book to be called a religious book. It was merely a law book at that time to run the family and society. This book has distorted and misguided the family and society a lot. There are various Smritis (Law books) like Manusmritis. Unfortunately, even in these days, these crackpot books are being followed by some of the conventional people, which is illegal in the eyes of modern laws on the land. These books were expedient rather than principled.
The duty of male was to earn livelihood for the family. And, the duty of female was confined to take care of the domestic work. Wife used to consider her husband as Devta, means who gives. They keep fasting and worship gods for her husband`s longevity. The primal profession of the primordial people was hunting and agriculture, and for both the professions, the physical brawn is required. Hence male suited for the outside work. Female can perform the domestic work with more ease, and can take care of the offspring. Naturally, the chaste of male is stronger and waist is weaker than female one. The chaste is the embodiment of the valiant and vigor. Waist is very important where, there is work of frequent stoop and up, and we can experience the same in the domestic work. The progenitor found that the fasting was suitable for female, and male brings the gift for the wife on that day. This tradition and custom helps to make more bondage between husband and wife. Husband reckons that my wife is praying to gods for my longevity, so he keeps his moral and ethics intact. And husband brings gifts and livelihood, so she thinks that he is worthy to worship. At the time of marriage the father of bride used to give some financial support for initial set-up to the bride and groom according to his capacity. There was no overt demand for the dowry. The male was free to have more the one wife, but the same was not true for the female. It was an unrequited custom, where there was merely the male domination. The definition of aforesaid statement kept changing, and now, this draconian tradition has taken the form of a monster. The male started understanding the female as subservient. Dowry was being demanded overtly, without considering the capacity of the giver. Consequential, the atrocity took place in the family and society.
Now the time has changed, and the statute should be changed according to the time, place, and people. The law on earth has been changed by taking the consideration of the above atrocity and violence and injustice in the family and society. The new law has given more importance to the matriarch rather than patriarch. This is also not a balanced law which can appease the both male and female, and can do the justice. But, the new law is overtly the female oriented. Here, we can mention few sections of IPC 1860 and Acts related to woman to make this point more understandable.
Few Acts related to women:--
Some section of Indian Panel Code, 1860 related to woman:
354. Assault or criminal force to woman with intent to outrage her modesty
354A. Assault or use Criminal force to woman with intent to disrobe her
498A. Husband or relative of husband of a woman subjecting her to cruelty
304B. Dowry death
375. Rape
312. Causing miscarriage
509. Word, gesture or act intended to insult the modesty of a woman
These are some few laws and acts, I have mentioned here. In fact there are so many laws, which give direct haven to woman. But I did not get even a single similar laws which could be direct related to man and can give haven to man.
We have two laws; the old law, the tradition, and the new law, the constitution of the country. One gives more significance to the male and autonomy for the male domination family and society. And, the modern law, the female oriented law gives autonomy for the female domination family and society. Despite the stringent laws; the divorce, conflict, stress and domestic violence have increased drastically. Predominantly, these kinds of cases are taking place in the middle and higher middle class family. Even today, our marriage ceremonies take place according the old traditions and customs. And the law on the land suggests running the family and society according to the modern law. The pussyfoot has been given to us by these laws. Male is pulled by the old draconian tradition and custom and females are pulled by the modern laws. And, the both the avowed laws are converse to each other. Whenever the conflict takes place in the family and society, both male and female talks about their laws and facility have been sanctioned to them. The forces of both the parties work in the opposite direction, which create stress and the marriage culminate with break-up, which directly effects to the offspring. It suggests that the relationship in future would be more fragile. Sir Isaac Newton did not get married, due to the inexorable conflicts between his parents; he did not want to waste his time in the petty conflicts.
The marriage has become a compromise, a negotiation rather than a strong bond of two souls. The laws are in place, but the present laws are lopsided laws, which are bound to create imbalance, then wobble and then collapse. The demand of the time is to make a balanced law, which can help to create an unprejudiced family and society. Moreover, to sustain any relation, the internal laws of the individuals are more important than the external laws. The externals laws, the constitutional one, are for those who do not possess the internal laws, the moral and ethics.
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